Landmark Education and the Landmark Forum

May 19, 2008

Giving up Blaming Others

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — landmarkeducationinaustralia @ 3:14 pm

This is really an incredible blog post I noticed the other day. People can be so moving when they give up their tightly held resentments. This post, which comes from across the Pacific in California, is about the author giving up racism and intolerance, but to me it’s really about giving up blaming others generally for how one’s life goes:

Times Change

Recently I’ve had what many people may term a revelation. I don’t know if everyone on the CC: list reads my blog, but the gravity of being racist (and I’m talking about myself here) finally came home for me when I started doing Landmark Education … as well as a lot of other things. All this time I’ve been blaming people for not accepting me when in reality the problem was that I don’t accept them.

That’s right; I wouldn’t accept racists or anyone I thought was racist. My prejudice toward ethnic groups that historically have conflict with blacks was extreme, and I lived under an umbrella of blaming racists in authority positions for my life not being what I wanted it to be.

I’m just glad I finally realized how fast it was getting me nowhere.

I’ve recently become a fan of thinking along the lines of “understanding gets you nowhere.” My favorite example is about losing weight — the secret is diet and exercise. I understand that, yet here I stand … fat! In order for understanding to be relevant, there seems to be a need for significance. So, thinking to another famous alumnus, I now finally have achieved some significance regarding that for which King stood. Racial equality is not a hackneyed concept.

Now, my issue here hasn’t been with white people. White Californians are a bit different from white southerners. My issue, rather, has been with Asians. There are a lot of Asians here, and thanks to my window into the Asian mindset through Shirley, I am beginning to realize to what degree many Asians are socialized into rejecting blacks. It’s the easiest thing in the world to get mad and blame them for being racist, but you probably wouldn’t catch King doing that. I’ve done that, and I took it out on Shirley. It embarrasses me.

Please stand witness for my giving it up now. I am so done with my “inability to accept people” controlling my life. I give it up.

To me people are no longer their opinions or their feelings or even their reasoning. If you cut them open, you wouldn’t find any of that in there. To me, people are nothing but potential. But life is such that people lose that view of themselves as children, and many of them never get it back. They instead bury themselves under layers of what they can’t do. I can’t have the job I want. I can’t make as much money as I want. I can’t accept those people. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. No wonder we can’t see our potential.

When I was young, I was told that I could do anything I want to do and be whoever I want to be. However, only now does that have any significance for me. Very well — I want to be accepting and inspire acceptance in other people.

Here’s a link to the original blog:

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